BBQ with Beer

Is there any other way?

Burnt Chicken Legs

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There is a saying in the movie industry: “Don’t worry kid, we’ll get it in editing.” Well, you can’t be perfect all the time; even BBQ’ing with beer can have its disasters. A couple weeks ago, I experienced just such a disaster. I was BBQ’ing some lower quality chicken legs-and-thighs with the skin on, and things literally went to Hell, and I was left trying to hide my shame in copious amounts of BBQ sauce.

I hope you enjoy the chronicle of my failure. If it could have gone wrong, it almost did - short of exploding myself.

The Prep

  1. Buy cheap chicken backs - attached legs and thighs - with skin.
  2. Assume it will be like cooking any other piece of chicken.
  3. Prepare for sadness

Unfortunately the exact beer markers and timing kinda went out the window. Just keep drinking.

The Cook

  1. Heat to 400 (a nice, reasonable grill temperature for chicken initially)
  2. Reduce to medium (to slow the cook and keep the chicken moist)
  3. Drink to the top of label, and then whoa! What the…! Why is the temperature gauge pushin 700°F? Put out the massive grease fire!
  4. The fire has died down, and you may now realise you’ve let the tank run out. Luckily you have a backup. Refill the tank.
  5. Keep drinking your beer while you flip and keep chicken out of the raging fires. Firefighting is thirsty work!
  6. Shake off the small error and hope it’s nothing a little BBQ sauce can’t cure.
  7. Reduce the heat, even though it won’t matter.
  8. Keep flipping and drinking beer to (at least) the 1/2 way mark. (Get new beer if necessary).
  9. Realize these bits still have kidneys and pancreas and other gubbins. Hope it’s nothing a little BBQ sauce can’t fix.
  10. Down the rest off your beer and wonder where it all went wrong. Get another beer.
  11. Claim the tears running down your face are from the smoke - when you know the truth. They are tears of shame.
  12. Drink to the … Aww come on are you seriously on fire again ?!? Reduce heat and firefight!
  13. Pray to Odin that you will send many of his mortal enemies to Niflheim* if he would just let this chicken cook!!
  14. Drink to 1/2 label, flip and apply BBQ sauce LIBERALLY
  15. Drink to 3/4 label, flip, more BBQ sauce.
  16. If you ran out of sauce, now is a good time to get more.
  17. Drink to bottom label, flip, sauce whatever is left.
  18. When the beer is done, serve Kraft Dinner.

Total Beers: at least 2 beers to stay hydrated during the cook/firefight. Many beers of conciliation and regret.

(*) Note: I found out later this is not really how Norse mythology works.

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